The Unexpected Gift

I am a schizophrenic, a patient suffering from a serious mental illness called schizophrenia. I could never separate my imagination and reality. But there is a tiny little secret hidden in me, that I will never tell anybody until I end this story. This might be the story of my life but I do not know too because I am partially living in the twilight zone. Early in the morning, when I woke up, I scurried down the stairs to catch the breeze. The cool windy breeze that blew away the summer and brought in autumn. Then without realising, I caught a cold, a really bad cold that brought me all the way to the hospital. Medicine, pulse machine, patients and doctors managed to evoke the memories of my past, it said I was once a cheerful young lady, a lady with strength and was mentally strong. One incident that brought me far away from my past was the quirk of fate that I had gone through, the devastating side effects of stress.

The next morning, in the hospital, I saw someone in a white dress. I really could not see clearly whether she was floating or was I imagining. But when I got to touch her soft smooth hand, I knew she was her, my lucky star. She asked me tonnes of questions, some I could not even understand, I felt strange that our bond was not as tight as before. I saw a spark and the next thing that came into my eyes was Jelly Beans. Lots of Jelly Beans lying on the white marble floor, it looked as though I was drowned in the ocean of sweets. Happiness and laughter were floating all the way into me and it felt great being there. I had mixed up all my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams and imaginations. It was very difficult for me to identify the places and things I had seen or touched into categories. I really could not force myself for that.

“Doctor, she is going to recover right?” “Doctor, she is going to die, isn’t she?” “Girl, wake up, don’t scare me!” “She is hopeless, you must be prepared.” I heard lots of conversation, not happy ones but mostly solemn. I hoped I was not under the labour of misapprehension that I will die and leave all my belongings behind. Again I heard doctors quibbling for some petty matter, some of them were really loud but some soundless. Maybe those doctors were not aware of hurting patients’ feelings, perhaps they did not realise that I was awake. The nurse that gave me medicine in a scheduled time often gave me a sly smile, those might also be the reasons why I got to this state.

“Angels in wings, doves in white, covering the light blue sky, symbolises the side of heaven shines.” The poem kept repeating itself, soothingly, covering the surroundings of the scene. I guessed I am there, the time was approaching and I had to close my eyes... “STOP!” a young voice screamed. “Don’t you ever try to close your eyes!” “There is something down there waiting for you to attend, something especially for you, so never ever think of closing those lids...” the voice faded. Dream was the first thing I thought that would be, but that voice made me realised that I was not dreaming, it was reality. For the first time since that day I was pronounced schizophrenic, I managed to verify the truth, the feeling and instinct that I had lost for so long. I dare to say I had received it back. The scene and voices faded bit by bit as the energy saving light bulbs appeared above my eyes, I knew I was back in the hospital that once killed my soul.

“Daisy, Daisy? You there? Answer me, Daisy?” I took a few deep breath before reflecting a smile. I am back again , my soul was revived under god’s will. I am not the patient anymore, I fought it away, victory obtained. I am back to condition. I finally decepted the clue of the angel that recovering was my special gift, the unexpected one that waited for me.

Since then, I was brought to heaven each time I take a nap or sleep. I had the special ability to communicate with angels where no one else in the world could possess, not even other schizophrenic I knew nor the ones I had met by chance. My life was once again cherished with the gift I had. God is always the fair judge to me. Thank goodness.